Turn Turn Turn

To everything, there is a season

Spring is in the air. And though the world is completely terrible, I definitely have a spring in my step. And actually it’s getting harder to remember how miserable I was just a couple of years ago.

One reason for my jauntiness may be that I’ve been spending more time at the barn helping out. I’ve really enjoyed the relationships I develop with all the horses - not just my own. But especially the newer ones I’m only just getting to know. Like Miley. Miley is a lovely small horse, who has been living in the barn rehabbing from an injury. Each day, I look forward to her pretty face popping out of her stall when she hears me coming. She’s been so gentle and sweet that I’ve developed a bit of a crush on her and love checking in with her throughout the day.

Funny thing about recovery though, is that now that she’s feeling better, her feistiness has been coming out and, in a sort of cute way, she can get a little pissy.

She gets gently walked around the property every day as part of her physical therapy. These walks started off slowly with frequent stops and her little bit of a limp was visible. But now that she’s not so sore, she wants to really move and I have to hold her back.

It’s hard to explain to a horse that you’re just trying to keep them from reinjuring themselves. Miley doesn’t care. She wants to be outside and running around. And having recovered from a few injuries myself, I can really empathize with her restlessness.

Eventually, she’ll be fully recovered and back to her pasture where I know she’ll be happier. I’ll miss visiting with her but it’ll be good to see her healed and in her element. Even if she is a little pissy.

As with all things, nothing lasts forever. Whether good or bad, there will be another season and just as we do now in Spring, we welcome new growth.

Working, like really working, not just hanging out, at the ranch, has been great for me. The more I handle horses, take care of horses, and even ride more horses, my knowledge grows and so does my confidence. I’m not going to lie, it’s hard, dirty work. But I’d rather be handling horses, getting my hands knee deep in mushy feed, and mucking pile after pile of manure than being trapped inside an office any day. I go home filthy, sweaty, sore, exhausted, and so very happy.

Between the ranch, my horses, and my Pilates practice, my life is so very different than it used to be.

I used to wake up in the morning and groan, trying to get my game face on during my long commute. Trying to keep my smile in place while sitting through meeting after meeting, many completely unnecessary. Trying to find meaning in what was mostly meaningless, or a positive lesson I could take from what was increasingly negative and toxic. All while trying to maintain some balance and stability while the corporate engine exerted control of employees through threats of job and income loss.

I would sometimes look out the window from my office and wonder how my horses were doing while wishing I could be with them. It seemed a dream that was so far away.

When I had my accident and took up Pilates to continue my rehabilitation and healing, I remember struggling to hold a plank. Recovering from a fractured back, broken ribs, and a badly broken arm repaired with metal, I was unable to hold myself up for long. And the classic Pilates pose of Teaser (for those who don’t know it’s balancing on your rear and forming a “v” with your body) seemed unattainable. But now, well, not only can I do all of that and more, I teach others and hope to help them progress as I did.

Leaving the Pilates studio last week, one of my students walking next to me asked, now that I was done teaching for the day, what did I have planned?

“Well, I’ll swing by the ranch and check in on my horses. Then I’ll head home and play with my dog and have some late lunch. Then I might write a few pages and at some point, since my day started at 4:00am, I’ll probably pass out and nap for a bit.”

She smiled and looked at me for a moment and said, “Your life sounds amazing.”

I stopped in my tracks as I realized she was right. “You know what?” I said, “It doesn’t suck.”

Life moves on and what you struggle with now will one day be just a memory. So, try to flow with it, and find what you can enjoy. And if you feel you can’t do that, just hang on the best you can. Nothing really is forever and, as Spring reminds us, seasons change.

Photo by Pamela Wangenheim-Hawkins. Ride courtesy of rescue horse who turned out to be a genius, Topa,