United We Stand
Another take on independence
At the barn we celebrate holidays with a group trail ride, so our Independence Day ride is an annual event.
Now, I am going to be honest here. I find these rides, and generally any group ride, a little bit nerve wracking. My pesky brain plays scenarios in my head where one horse goes nuts and everyone else follows suit.
It doesn’t help my anxiety that Trudy, a Tennessee Walking Horse, is a very fast walker and doesn’t like being behind other, slower, horses. Slowing her down to make space and stay with the gang is a bit of a battle - she is built for speed walking after all. So, I just let her work her way to the front. This is what she loves. That’s why you’ll find us up front next to the only other mare in our crew, named Dia, who is half Tennessee Walker and matches Trudy’s quick stride.
Even though they are quite different, Dia and Trudy are good friends. Dia is gorgeous, talented, and very much a diva. She’s the only horse in the barn with a mirror in her stall if that tells you anything. And to be honest, not judging here, but she’s a little bit slutty and encourages the attention of any male in the vicinity. Trudy is also gorgeous but in contrast would rather bite any male who comes too close (she is absolutely my horse!). But as with all good friendships, they take each other as they are.
A couple of things happened on this last Fourth of July ride that really got me thinking about, well, independence.
We were off on our trail ride and making our way around the property. We made a stop at the arena to do some laps and play some equitation games that our trainer had concocted. I was sitting on Trudy, watching someone work through one of the obstacles when a horse being ridden in the other half of the arena, so not one of our group, lost his marbles and proceeded to bucking and spinning a storm. His rider accomplished the herculean task of staying on throughout the mayhem. My hat’s off to her for not flying off.
She had him almost under control but took a brief lull in the action to try to dismount. Unfortunately, when she did, her back foot dragged across his hind end which set him off again, and she ended up dumped on the ground with a horse running loose.
When one horse goes nuts, there is always the potential that all horses in the vicinity will also go nuts. But that day an amazing thing happened. All our horses, including Trudy and my Ty, who was being ridden by one of the grooms, stood peacefully still and just watched. I was speaking softly to Trudy with a soothing voice throughout the experience, though in truth I was probably talking to myself, because Trudy was nonplused. In fact, her facial expression was something like disgust. If she could’ve rolled her eyes, she would have and then yelled, “Oh grow the f**k up, you absolute idiot. I declare.” With her Tennessee accent, of course.
Once the crazy horse had run himself ragged, he circled around behind us and approached Trudy. It was a tense moment for me, but even then, she stayed steady. I saw one of her ears flatten as he moved closer, so I yelled at him to back off while flinging a rein at him. He backed away but stood quietly near us and was quickly captured and taken back to his rider.
And everything was okay. In fact, it was more than okay.
Because the way our horses handled the drama was not lost on us. And it was such a point of pride for our trainer. No horses went nuts, no riders panicked. The energy remained calm.
Did we all tighten up the reins in our hands a little? Sure. Did we contemplate dismounting? Undoubtedly. But here’s the thing with a herd. Herds follow the lead mare. So, the mares Dia and Trudy, having led the way there, made it clear: Stay calm. Sit still. Just a kid throwing a tantrum. Nothing to do with us.
When that horse approached Trudy, I let her know I had her back. Just like she had mine. Just like we all had for each other. Independent, yet together. Individuals, but community.
After the excitement, we regrouped and headed back out onto the trail. Trudy and I had, of course, made our way to the front and were walking next to a friend who had joined us. We were just chatting away before realizing that the crowd behind us had turned off onto a new trail we’d never taken before. I elected to keep going on the path we were on rather than turn around to follow and find ourselves in the back of the pack with Trudy itching to be in front again.
As we continued our walk, I put both reins in one hand and had the other hand on my thigh and was sitting easily flowing with Trudy’s gaited movements. My friend commented on how relaxed I seemed and I smiled. I was. I really was. Because I realized while standing in that arena that we were going to be just fine. There was chaos around us, but within our group, there was connection. Riders to each other and to our horses. Horses to the herd and to their riders.
Here is the thing about Independence. It does not mean solitary. It does not mean being a disruptor. You can be your own person: You can go ahead of the crowd, hang behind the crowd, or go your own way and step away from the crowd even. It is recognizing that the common good comes when we care for each other and we care for ourselves in the process.
How does that pledge go? Indivisible with liberty….? Yeah. That.
