I am so lucky to be at a wonderful barn. It is so fun to be with likeminded people, particularly women, who are crazy nuts about their horses just like me. Not only are all the horses in our barn taken care of in stellar fashion, but you’d be hard pressed to find a tack room with a more extensive collection of colorful saddle pads, matching boots, bejeweled bridles, and yes, costumes for the holidays.
I don’t know about you, but I like this time of year. A cool breeze starts to blow and here in SoCal we might finally get some rain. There are milder temperatures to enjoy, a crispness in the air, and the smell of pumpkin spice stirred into your coffee. Or baked into your muffin. Or burning in your candle. Or mixed into your dog’s treats. Or wafting from your scented trash bags.
Yeah, okay, so we go a little whacky for the pumpkin spice. But I still like Autumn. In fact, if I had to choose between holidays, I’d probably take Halloween over Christmas. Spooky decorations and ghoulish costumes, chasing away demons and warding off evil. And let’s face it, with things as they are in our world right now, we need to do some serious warding.
Obviously, on top of that, there’s candy. Candy for the kids. And maybe some for me. I want candy for me. So. Much. Candy. For me.
I have an incredibly creative barn bestie who really outdoes herself this time of year. Not only does she have some amazing costumes for her gorgeous horse, but every week she and her husband arrange a new Halloween tableau on their lawn. Each depicting a scene from the life of a family of skeletons, known as “The Skellies”. The originality and humor in some of these displays is beyond anything I could ever come up with and endlessly entertaining. (Note: you can check the displays out on Instagram @skelliesonwelly)
I love The Skellies and seeing our horses decked out, but if I’m honest, I’m not great at the whole costume thing for myself. Many, many moons ago, when I was working as an actor, I felt like I spent a lot of time dressed up and pretending to be someone else and I didn’t really have energy for it at Halloween. But time has passed and thinking about it, I’ve come to realize that we all dress up for whatever role we’re taking on.
Such as my first job at a grocery store and that god awful double-knit getup we were required to wear (seriously, I can’t believe we wore that stuff). Or my uniform at the Sheriff’s Office. Or even more, when I was in the military and my many uniform variations: khakis, camo, dress, formal. And then the corporate world. It is generally more casual now but there was a time when suits with skirts were the norm and, you won’t believe this, we had to wear pantyhose.
Yes, pantyhose! It’s shocking I know.
But all these uniforms, or costumes, had a reason for being, a specific presentation goal. While working for a prominent financial firm in New York, I had a meeting set for a final negotiation of a multimillion-dollar deal with a supplier’s representative. He was too aggressive by far and was always trying to manipulate me. He could barely disguise his own misogyny, and he tended get oddly sweaty and whiny whenever I countered any argument he was trying to make. I found him incredibly annoying. So that day I purposely wore a very flattering and sharp designer suit and some pricey high heels that made me tower over him. It gave me the boost of confidence that I needed and, judging by his behavior, he was suitably intimidated.
Perhaps I wasn’t driving out demons or warding off evil (or was I?), but my costume had the effect I was looking for. Costumes are for how we wish to be seen by the world but perhaps even more, they are about how we wish to see ourselves.
I tried partnering with my horse for a costume event. About three years ago, I decided that I would dress up as a character from Lord of the Rings, with Ty as my noble steed. I found a long medieval style dress for me, and had a caparison made for Ty. A caparison, or trapper, is the medieval cloth covering on horses, usually showing a coat of arms or other identifying design. I had one made with the symbols of Rohan, the kingdom of horse riders in Tolkien’s world. It matched my dress and was made to Ty’s measurements. I was quite looking forward to our Halloween parade at the ranch.
Sadly, that was the October I flew off of Ty and shattered my shoulder and wrist (the first time, for those of you keeping score). I certainly couldn’t get on Ty and with my shoulder such a mess I could barely dress myself. My costume clearly wasn’t happening. But I did make it out to the ranch for photos with Ty. He looked so handsome. And then there is me standing beside him, hiding my sling behind some random costume items someone had brought to the barn, seriously hopped up on pain killers. Not my best look.
But just as seasons pass, so do difficult times. I’m all healed up now and getting better at looking the part of a competent equestrian.
In one of the Pilates Teacher Training classes, I had to “teach” someone else in front of the class. It’s pretty intimidating to do this when you’re just learning and don’t know what you’re actually doing yet. But practice is how we get there, right? So, I switched into my professionally honed “presenter” voice and did my best to not fumble around for words as I made my way through it. Our instructor commented that I came across very confident to which I responded that it was all a façade. It’s just that my costume of the day was that of Pilates teacher.
You know, I think maybe deep down we’re all still just little kids, playing dress up and pretending to be grown-ups doing grown-up things.
And you know what? That is okay with me. Because kids get all the candy.
